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This only caused me to cry harder.” “I am mad at myself because,” I paused, I did not want to do this, but I knew that it had to come out now, rather then later. “Because I am so in love with you Henry, that I am so angry that you are getting married. I am angry that I would rather you be alone, then with some girl who is not me. I am angry because I am selfish and want you all to myself even though I can not have you.” Henry did not answer me. I was unsure if I should keep talking or if I should just leave it at that. Had I said to much? Had I lost my brother forever? Was he now angry at me, for having these feelings bottled up inside of me? The silence that followed was so powerful that I felt like I was going to be sick. I suddenly felt myself being pulled from the position that I was in, until I was sitting on Henry’s lap, looking down into his eyes. My heart melted and I knew that I would not be able to resist him. Pulling me toward him, our lips met and things were as they were. But I have a feeling you'regoing to turn into a pretty hot slut."As he left, I collapsed back into sleep.When I next emerged, it was only to a half-waking state. I was beingpushed around awkwardly on my bed; I realized I was being dressed. Thelight in the room was hanging from the ceiling, lower than my head whenI stood, and in the commotion it was swinging around, adding to mydisorientation. I couldn't tell how many people there were in the room;they were sweeping me along like secret service agents after thepresident's been shot. I felt that sense of panic. And then we were ina hallway that seemed as if it had the sun for its lighting. I keptshutting my eyes tightly and then opening them. Then we were out in theeven brighter day, and in a car.My panic gave way to a drugged calm as I settled into my seat, the lowhum of the road below soothing me. I turned my head slowly to the leftto see Lillianna driving, and in the back seat Antonio. I turnedforward again. It didn't occur to me to.
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